Well, its nothing big, because I'm done with Monash since last year, just that I couldn't attend the ceremony because I was in the States. Well, get over with it, and yeah!!
Anyways, was just some wild thought and some reminder for myself that life is never an easy, straight thing to understand. People around you, stranger or not, friends or not, buddy or not, sister brother or not, it is so difficult sometimes as it is so diverse among all. You can expect as much as you can or you can least expect as much as you can, either way you will just feel it is a waste of time! Being positive all the time has never been a great help most of the time as being positive means you are ignoring the 'problem' solving stage, or shall I say you are just avoiding. Being negative all the time does not mean you are working on solving problems or finding what is wrong that you should mend it, is just mean that you are over concern on things that might or might not happen, happening or happened.
Well, to tell you the truth, I have been shy and lonely. I have always wanted to put God in my life, I'm not saying God is not in my life, is just I felt so useless and being a disappointment every time. I had been trying my best. I really love God so much, but I really do not know what I can do. I had tried and trying to be closer to God every time. And one day I just hope I can really be with God forever.
God may or may not done miracle in my life. Maybe did, but I didnt' realise. Maybe God is testing me. Maybe God wants to see how much I really want him. Well, of all, I just want to say, GOD, I LOVE YOU. FORGIVE ME. YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE. THE WAY AND THE LIFE FOR ME. God I pray You will just GUIDE ME, HELP ME. Amen~
Another 'wild' thoughts I have is just seeing the differences, the black and white, the ups and downs, the positive and negative, the promises and un-promises, the happy and the sad, the angry and the calm, the random and the straight, the craziness and the proper, the polite and the un-polite, the good and the bad, the friendly and the unfriendly, the weird and the cool, the right and the wrong, the nice and the not nice.....ETC.... All these make me feel that I cannot really depend on anyone at all. Maybe I am just too lonely at this time. I'm not desperate for a gf or a partner or want to get a wife or so. But I felt like my life do not have a proper direction at this moment. I do have so much in my mind, businesses, sales, success, rich, happy, welcomed, invited and etc, but I just do not know where to start. I wanted to talk to certain people, but I just can't find one! I'm not feeling emo, but I am just feeling confuse. I see people being successful, moving forward, great achievement. I won't deny that I am jealous of them, but at the mean time I am so happy for them. But what, who am I? How and Where should I start? WHEN can I be what I want to be?
I must start now! First things to do, is to throw away my laziness! Lets GO!! I need to be hardworking! I NEED TO BE NOT LAZY ANYMORE! ARRgh~!!!
Lol~
Reading what I just typed is just too funny. But somehow, I think this is the only way for me to 'release' certain 'sigh' of mine. Hehehe, so please bare with me.
Although my blog is no longer available for the public, (Which I thought of opening back for the public), but I don't think it is the time yet.
My blog will be up and running again soon. Hopefully *finger's cross*!
Christmas is around the corner! HO HO HO!!!
I can't wait till it comes! Looking forward for it! woot Woot!
That's all for now, Till then...
See ya~
'.'
-kimhan-
