Random thoughts on Friends~

How do you define a friend? Or close friend? Or best Friend? Or Brothers/Sisters?

I finally understand. Finally I see it so clearly. Thanks for making it clearer.

:)

'.'

-kimhan-

bored, loned, tired . . . . ~

I'm bored and tired . . . .

I'm sleepy . . .

I feel so lonely suddenly . . .  Hmm~ feel like my life is in a mess currently . . . Feel so lonely and useless~

God please help!

What should I do? Help~
Who should I need? Help~
How should I handle? Help~
Where should I go? Help~
Which is the right thing? Help~
When can I 'un-mess' this? Help~

Hmm~

'.'

-kimhan-

People that I start to lose faith and trust in~

As you can see from the title, it is clear that I lose faith and trust in certain people. Of course, I never ever will lose faith in GOD.

The thing is, sometimes in your life, you meet up with with so many people, friends, buddies, sisters brothers, close frens, soulmate, collegues, internet friends, and etc etc.... Promises, bonds, trust, agreements, secrets, sharing, and etc will be form throughout the life.. but some how what happen if any one of them had been breached, or broken or just fail?

Yes I do agree people comes and goes in your life except family, relatives and God (unless there are any exceptional cases). I once heard this: to change a relationship (be it gfbf relationship, marry couple relationship, family relative relationship or even jus friendship), you do not change the other side, but to change yourself and to accept it. I do agree on this so much even I tried it before.

Sometimes it is so difficult for me. I feel so breathless, effortless, tiredness and useless. So much I want to do and I can do, but I can't due to certain reasons, or unforseen circumstances. Sometimes when I have so much thought in my mind, I just want to delete everything, or share it with someone (which I never really do this b4 in my life). I kept thinkin n thinkin n thinkin, sometimes even think until I js give up everything. It may be hard for you all to understand wat im tryin to say, but in fact I also dunno how do i translate this feeling here.

I had so many disappointment, broken promises and even back stabbed & lied, untrusted. It reli affects my self esteem so much. I jus wish I can be strong enough to face everything myself, but sometimes I failed. I always show ntg in my life, bt my feelings actually had been so low and down for a very very very long time...U can ask wat happen, i can answer u, ntg! becos the fact is really ntg. is jus past, current, disappointments and those negative aura's had been affecting me and I nvr able to build myself up since from the start.

Yes I am glad all my besty like EL, TH, IV always there jus spend some time together whether it is eating, drinking. They do not knw hw happy I am jus to laugh together with them. And I really appreciate it. It may seem jus a normal outing or so, bt to me it is something that comforts me all the time. Listening to their talk, stories and laughter is enuf for me. At least I knw I hav someone there for me jus to 'cheer' me everytime.

Work had been jus peaceful and slow for me although i have so much to do.. I hav so much plans in my yet i hav nt hav the power to start anything. I always want to challeng myself everytime, doing things that out of my capabilities... Currently I do not have special dislike or like on my job, jus normal, jus feel like working for the sake of the RM 2k and spend my time doing data entries till my eye goes @.@ . . . .

I reli wish and hope I can start lining up my plans and initiate it soon~

Back to main 'topic', Yes few of my past and current had been reli disappointing to me.
Promises broken, Being backstabbed, being ignored for no reasons or for ur own reason(this is so selfish) n etc. Make me feel like s*it~....but wat the H*ll can i actually do??
Damn it, u have life I have life too. but if my life is not worthy for u to at least keep ur promise, dun bother to start all those s*it lar~

Guys girls, who cares, as long as u r my fren, I cherish you, that's all I can say, if u dun cherish our frenship, relationship, sisterhood brotherhood, or watever, dun start then~!!

O well, i wont explain further and dun bother asking me details about this post as i wont say anything. Im here jus to express my disastifaction in certain ppl, certain incidents.

It is a long post, might bore u....Sorry for that...

Had been single for long...Now is time for me to go out hunt for my partner already!!! HAHAHAHA... jk~

Anyway, tats all for now~ I talk to you all later alright?

'.'

-kimhan-