Dilemma.....s~

Recently having loads of dilemma's.....

Confusion between decision.....

Besides that, been thinking about myself, what did I do wrong? What should I do??

'.'

-kimhan-

tired...

I am reli tired...
My heart jus get weaker and weaker...
I shout like crazy to myself, slapping myself sometimes wanting myself to wake up to the fact, sometimes when I am alone...
I really don't know what else I can do...
I felt this way before, but this time is like so deep!! I don't know why? Can anyone tell me why??
I can feel the changes... I really don't want to care...
I always hold up my phone and want to start typing a message, at the end I cancel it all the time, knowing that there will be no reply at all....
Assumptions? No!! Its fact!! Its feel!! Its truth!!

I do not have the strengths and courage anymore...
I need to find it back!!
I will change in terms of my thinking!!

No longer wanna feel like a fool!!
No longer wanna be wait-ter....
No longer wanna be loser!!
No longer wanna be stupid!!

I just hope for happiness and no more!!

'.'

-kimhan-

Have you ever~

Have you ever wonder why sometimes things you do make you feel so useless?

Have you ever regret doing things that you do not feel like doing or making the wrong decision?

Have you ever regret not doing things you suppose to do?

Have you ever like/love a person past/present that you know it will not work out anyhow?

Have you ever wait for someone which you already know that there are no positive result to it?

Have you ever thought of someone you never expected to strike your mind when you are lonely or need of someone to talk to?

Have you ever regret not telling something simple/important to someone?

Have you ever wonder why is life so complicated?

Have you ever wonder why you could do so much things for someone not expecting anything in return?

Have you ever miss someone yet you cannot do anything about it?

Have you ever want someone special by your side day and night, just to walk life with you?

Have you ever hope/wish that you were someone better?

Have you have you have you.........

I can go all night long with this have you. I suppose to be studying my PCE exam, yet these stuff struck my mind. Its kinda random...lol~ just a thought!!

'.'

-kimhan-

I'm Gonna

I'm Gonna change!!!

This is my promise to myself!!!

'.'

-kimhan-

tired~

I am so tired!!

Tired of things.......

'.'

-kimhan-

seriously???

Seriously, do you even care??

I don't know..maybe you do....but then I dun think so myself..is just peer to peer surface care...thats why I don't think so myself....

Maybe is just myself expecting too much.....
Maybe I was hoping for miracle too much rather than waiting for miracle to happen...
Maybe I am just not qualify.....
Maybe I am just wasting my time thinking that it will be better....
Maybe I am.....

Oh well, where are you.......I needed you, just to listen to you, or maybe laugh with you or just be there for me whenever I needed you....but then, maybe I am too much.....yeah...

I know I am too much!!!

I am sorry...

'.'

-kimhan-

X x x x x x

I don't need another heart attack...

I don't need another reason....

'.'

-kimhan-

move!!

Its how you take the beating and stand up and continue the fight...rather than surrender with white flag and making the wrong decisions~

'.'

-kimhan-

..........

dunno wat to say...

I stared at the comp for so long, do not know what to write in blog or my facebook status or twitter....

I am just having a blank mind despite filled with so much assumptions and thoughts........

oh well, I just hope everything go well, and I am starting to let myself loose.

Sometimes when things don't go your way, you just have to take that beating and differences as a learning experience..and learn how to stand up and move again. yeah yeah i know it is so common that everyone will say same thing to motivate some one and etc...but then I am telling you, its hard.... but what the hell, I look like a fool...so why not i less make myself look like a fool and be normal..right?

k lar..randomz....

'.'

-kimhan-

e m o? R a N d O m z~

Enjoy~

'.'

-kimhan-

hard

Taking it hard!!

Being patient!!

'.'

-kimhan-

M u...

I disnt sleep well almost evernight, jus to think of possibilities abs probabilities that I hav to walk down the road wit someone u care that much...

I have been thinkin alot n u may say that i think a lot n yada yada.. The thing is I reli do care about it and everytime I'm jus worried n to add worse, it kept on increasing....

U may wonder who am I talking about or why am I so negative n emo...

Tell u what, I am a less emo guy since i came back from states and I am happy to remain that... Is just I can't stop my thoughts....

How I wish I have you and let me walk the journey with you.. hehhe but i knw things r nt easy.. Like wat ppl used to say, easy says than done... Hahah rite?

Anyway jus being sp damn random with my filled thoughts.... Expressing in blog without readers actually helps me despite even there are nt many readers when my blog ia open to public.. Hahaha...

Jus where r u when I need U everytime, mpst of the time, All D time....??

I M Y!

'.'

-kimhan-

Realise

Whats the fact and what is realistic?

Hrmmm....

When can I actually realise it? restless~

'.'

-kimhan-

Owl...

There r so much i want to talk to u, bt our talks r due....
I jus wish i can share n spend all my time talking, joking, laughing, crying, enjoying n many many more...

Im like an owl, sitting there waiting n looking only... Ntg moves... Jus the eyes observing from far away....

So much that I wanna hear from u, see u n jus smell the used to it smell...

But things n chances are due...

So much that i wish u will not fall again n be happy, so much that i want to be wit u...

Tell me how, what..... Can i do??

I am not emo, jus felt different n im not being me... Hmmmm....

I miss u...

'.'

-kimhan-

needed~

I need some one to talk to.....hmmm.....

Where are u when I need U??.....

dilemma, confuse.. Haihs...

'.'

-kimhan-

jobs

Mafan....zzz...

Done for the day finding available jobs and submitting resumes....

Tmr continue..hahaha...

'.'

-kimhan-

weird~

yjr grrzomh od dp erotf, niy o sq hpomh yp gsvr oy smuesu....

hppf zivl!!

'.'

-kimhan-

what theeeeeeee

what theee~

'.'

-kimhan-